Who to invite to your wedding is a tricky question. But it's one you'll need to answer before you start planning. Firstly, because to find your reception venue, you need to have a fairly precise idea of the number of guests. And secondly, because all the service providers you ask for a quote (wedding planner, caterer, photographer, decorator, etc.) will also ask you the same question.
And since you don't want to celebrate your wedding weekend in a cramped hall, or end the banquet with a huge waste of food, you'll need to aim just right! Take the time to draw up an initial list that's as realistic as possible, even if you have to make minor adjustments later on. This article is a step-by-step guide to help you draw up your wedding guest list.
Obviously, the more guests you invite, the higher your budget will be. To give you an idea, each guest costs an average of €135.
Some families have high expectations of the wedding: respect for cultural traditions, dress, food, religion, invitations to particular guests... This is especially true if they are helping to finance the ceremony. Discuss this with your respective families as early as possible to find common ground.
Of course, the venue and the weather have a major influence on the mood of the day. But the most important factor is the guests. So, what kind of atmosphere are you looking for? More intimate, for emotionally-charged moments in the company of your loved ones? More traditional, for a wedding that will delight your elders? Or more festive, to bring your entire entourage together for an unforgettable evening?
Your parents, grandparents and siblings are the first people to put on the list. However, if you're worried that someone will cause you strong negative emotions before or during the event, it's probably best not to invite them. The main thing is that you and your future spouse‧se have a wonderful time. That's a basic principle to keep in mind for the rest of this article.
Witnesses are obviously among the priority people. You'll need at least two for yourself, and two for your other half‧e, for the civil wedding. What's more, they're allies you can count on to help you with the preparations, as well as on the big day.
Then there are your best friends. The ones you see regularly and who make you happy every day.
For an intimate wedding, uncles, aunts, first cousins and godparents can be added to the inner circle.
Your childhood friends all have a special place in your hearts. You had your first experiences together, and have a wealth of shared memories. But you haven't seen them in a while, and your interests are probably no longer the same. Here's a tip: to decide whether or not to invite them, imagine spending 30 minutes face-to-face with them on the big day. If you feel uncomfortable, if you feel the urge to leave the conversation and join your best friends, then don't invite them.
For a wedding that respects family traditions and expectations, invite the whole family: great-uncles and great-aunts, cousins on the second cousin's side of the family, etc.
Some of your parents' friends may have watched you grow up. Knowing what you're up to, and who your life partner is, will make them extremely happy.
These are the people who invited you to their own wedding, and to whom you'd like to return the favor. Likewise, your parents may encourage you to invite their friends' children, having invited them to their own wedding ceremony.
You may have a good relationship with your colleagues (or at least we hope you do!). You may even see them outside the office. If you really like them, why not invite them along? They'll be pleasantly surprised, and you'll be cementing a real relationship of trust.
There are some people you don't necessarily think to count among your friends. Yet you spend a lot of time with them, and inviting them to your wedding could spice up the festivities. For example, your hobby mates (sports club, association, etc.) or your vacation get-togethers.
Does the number of guests exceed your maximum budget and you need to reduce the list? In that case, choose a restrictive criterion, and apply it to everyone without distinction. For example, you might decide to:
- Exclude all children;
- Invite only the +1s (companions) you know personally.
Organize shifts, and invite groups to different highlights of the evening. For example:
- Only immediate family and witnesses at secular or religious ceremonies;
- Distant family and family friends at the vin d'honneur;
- Friends during the evening.
As soon as your guest list is ready, you can start looking for a wedding estate with the right capacity, and agree on a date.
At Winnie Mariage, we list superb wedding estates and châteaux in Nouvelle-Aquitaine, Occitanie and Normandie. Take a look at our selection! You can apply various filters such as price range, capacity or number of beds, and simulate a quote online.
Once the wedding date has been set, send all your guests an RSVP announcing the date and venue. Emphasize the importance of confirming their presence, and set a deadline (around 3 months before the big day).
You can use applications such as Planning wedding, Lyyti or Eventdrive to help you keep track of responses.
A "B list" is a list of non-priority guests, whom you invite only if they're unable to attend. You send them Save The Dates as you go along.
We've come to the end of this guide. We hope you've found it useful, and that you now know how to choose who to invite to your wedding. This can be a tedious step, but it's well worth it, as it's the starting point for all your preparations. Starting with the search for your reception venue. Some estates are very much in demand, and need to be booked more than a year in advance. That's why we recommend that you draw up your guest list around 15 months before the ceremony, and even earlier if you're a large group and aiming for the high season!
